So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize