Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
