He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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