Don't you send me to vm
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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