So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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