Whod you bang
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
