hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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