I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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