There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
