what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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