Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
