don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
