Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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