and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
