I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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