she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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