sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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