My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
