I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Shame - the story of my life.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
