I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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