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im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.