So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
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No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
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Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.