I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I hate all girls vehemently.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
