i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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