Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
