Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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