No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize