My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
