Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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