I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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