She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize