I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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