ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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