It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
