My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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