I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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