I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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