We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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