Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
