Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
