You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
