im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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