beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
