I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
