This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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