So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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