I like to think it a success when the cops are called
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
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All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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