I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
