you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
