Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
