you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Boobs are out for the taking
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize