I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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