Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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