I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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