dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
