How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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