The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
