erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
