i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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