i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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