It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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