So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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