i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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