i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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