thus making me awesome and them whores
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize