Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
